I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
No subtext here. People are naked.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Randomize
