Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
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