They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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