She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
Is This New Dating App Elitist…Or Genius?
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
I woke up and there is a food processor in my purse. Someone else's framed family photo. My front door is wide open and my gerbil is playing in the water bong.
Yeah I'm going to bathe him.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
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Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions