how can u be prego again
Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
Houston, we have a squirter
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
Also, beer. Big fan.
I AM VODKA MAN
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.