is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
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u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
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We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.