Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
23 Absolutely Despicable Things That People Have Actually Done
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
25 Disturbing Facts That Will Make You Question Everything
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.