I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
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