btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
Randomize
