she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
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