drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
it was like eating out sand paper
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
Randomize
