I want to stick my p in your. b.
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
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