Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
Randomize
