3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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