Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
a search helicopter?!
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
