She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
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