I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
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