SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Randomize
