Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
Randomize
