Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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