is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
how do you play pong handcuffed?
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
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