you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
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