We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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