In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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