Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
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