The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
its not stalking. its research.
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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