that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
I just gift wrapped bread.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
