so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
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