from now on my penis is your penis
Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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