just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Randomize
