I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
grandma shit on top of the toilet
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
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