We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
Randomize
