i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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