I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
her facebook's as public as her vagina
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
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