It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Randomize
