wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
Randomize
