Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
She made me pour olive oil on her.
I'm gonna fight the coyote
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
Randomize
