there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
She's just so happy...and so naked.
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
I think people are normalizing furries
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
Randomize
