and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
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I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
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ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
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