hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
There are leaves in my underwear?
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