i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
