he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
Randomize
