Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
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