I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
We have started to decorate penises.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
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