yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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