But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
Randomize
