I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
