What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
