just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
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