I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
