i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
Randomize
