i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
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