I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
I need to calm my uterus...
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
Randomize
