Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize
