Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Randomize
