Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
We smell like vodka and hangover
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