genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
Randomize
