The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
whose parrot is this?
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
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