There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
i think im in europe. pls send help
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
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