I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
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