handjob tips. give me some.
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
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