I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
