Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
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