I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
Randomize
